I want to be real about something right now.
This morning I got up before the sun and I made my kids muffins for breakfast.
This may seem like an ordinary morning, but it’s the second morning in the last 6 months that I have been able to do so. Yes, you read that right, it has taken me 6 months to be able to make my children something other than cereal and milk since adding our fourth. And if we’re being honest, half the time they’re making their own cereal and milk because they think it’s really exciting and that means that I don’t have to do it. Now don’t get me wrong! They are absolutely thrilled about Cheerios, But part of my love language is acts of service, and for me that means making a wholesome breakfast in the morning for everyone. 6 months ago we welcomed a sweet angel of a baby into our family. A sweet angel of a baby who doesn’t enjoy sleeping or being put down as most sweet angel babies do. And even though I’ve been here before and I know that this is short-term and I really took it easy on myself this time around, I am still blown away by the fact that it’s taken me 6 months to make muffins. SIX MONTHS! Most women in the US, myself included, start working again at 6 WEEKS postpartum. And we wonder why we’re stressed out and why we can’t keep up and why our postpartum depression is a raging. I can’t even make muffins before the six month mark! I am simply in “survival mode" until about a year postpartum. There has to be something more that we can do to make this postpartum period more manageable, more enjoyable. I think bringing awareness to the fact that for the first year after you have a baby you and that baby are one person is one thing. That it’s okay not to make muffins in the morning, let’s not even mention the fact that dinner from last night is still sitting on the stove and I have a sink full of dishes. No I still do not fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, yes this is the shirt that I wore yesterday, no my hair is not brushed, yes that is spit up on my baby’s shirt, no we did not sleep last night, and despite it all we are happy and this is normal! This morning at 6 months postpartum I woke up early and made muffins for my family.
In many ways this makes me incredibly happy just to finally start to walk down that track of being back to my own self, and some ways I weep because it means that the sweet angel is now independent enough to allow me to make muffins, and my body is becoming my own each and every day. There's something amazing and special about giving your entire self up for short amount of time to allow another to thrive. I am so thankful and so grateful for His grace, and for muffins.
I am a student midwife and doula serving families in the North Country, and living life with five littles.